Hero or victim – which role are you playing?
Whichever it is, it is entirely by your own choice.
The difference is that the HERO takes full responsibility for his or her own life – and MAKES LIFE WORK FOR THEM.
The VICTIM lets life happen to them. They feel they have no say in the direction their lives take.
In short, a HERO is powerful.
A VICTIM is powerless.
It is an attitude choice.
A hero attitude looks like:
- a positive outlook
- awareness of self but not too introspective
- takes responsibility for own feelings, attitudes, actions and circumstances
- sees obstacles as challenges to be taken on an conquered
- sees humor in everything
- quick to forgive and brushes off offenses easily
- not much ‘drama’ in life
- happy (because they choose to be), loving, and celebrates other’s successes
A victim attitude looks like:
- life is a bitch
- negative outlook
- uhealthy introspection
- blames others for feelings, attitudes, actions and circumstances
- sees obstacles as ‘another terrible thing to deal with’
- lacks humor when viewing circumstance- except cynical humor
- holds grudges and takes offense easily
- constant drama, and always the ‘victim’ of each dramatic event
- bitter, angry, hating
There are far more things that can be said and added to the lists – but I am not here to preach or write a book on the topic.
But I would like to say this:
Yes, we like to think deep analytical thoughts about ourselves and our situations. But too much introspection, dear friends, can lead to you thinking your troubles are bigger than they are, that you are the only sufferer, and that you are entitled to the world’s sympathy.
We are all dealing with our own troubles. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that yours is the worst – because then you will only set yourself up for more hurt and anger when others don’t go out of their way for you.
During my short time on earth I have identified that it is this “victim spirit” (or attitude) that is the cause of much, MUCH bigger problems…. and it is prime soil for anger, unforgiveness and hatred to fester.
Just one look at the headlines on the news, and you can easily assess that the causes of these horrible events where people hurt each other (public shootings, terrorism, family murders, etc) are rooted in one (or all) of these five things: anger, unforgiveness, hatred, substance abuse, religious cult (brainwashing). And interestingly enough, a lot of these horrendous events are initiated by individuals or groups who have felt VICTIMIZED in some way or another.
Yes, we all like to be sympathized with – and maybe you genuinely were victimized in some way. But to carry a spirit of victimization is not worth it – it can lead to a miserable life. The difference between having been a victim of something and BEING a victim is how you define yourself. You may have been to hell and back but you don’t have to BE a victim!
Rather be the HERO who overcomes whatever you have had to face in your life. It’s the people who overcome the worst and most terrible circumstances in life and learn to USE IT TO THEIR OWN ADVANTAGE that become the most successful and inspirational people and live the most compelling lives.
You being the HERO starts with you taking responsibility for yourself and your life, and realizing that life is what it is – sometimes it’s great and sometimes it really sucks – but it doesn’t owe you anything.
However, YOU have the power to make the best of it!